Cody Green

  ''Cody Green'' ..............Every now and then, in the middle of the constant barrage of crap that's just pissing us all off these days, we come across a story, a feat, an event that just makes us stop in our tracks. This was one for me.     Cody Green was a 12-year kid in Indiana who was diagnosed with leukemia at 22 months old. He loved the Marines, and his parents said he drew strength and courage from the Marine Corps. as he bravely fought the battle into remission three times. Although he was cancer-free at the time, the chemotherapy had lowered his immune system and he developed a fungus infection that attacked his brain. Two weeks ago, as he struggled to fend off that infection in the hospital, the Marines wanted to show how much they respected his will to live, his strength, honor and courage. They presented Cody with Marine navigator wings and named him an honorary member of the United States Marine Corps. For one Marine, that wasn't enough ... so that night, before Cody Green passed away, he took it upon himself to stand guard at Cody's hospital door all night long, 8 hours straight.Nowhere on the face of this planet is there a country so blessed as we to have men and women such as this. I wish I could personally tell this Marine how proud he makes me to be an American. God ... I do so love this country.

A WOMAN

  Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. 
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving,  but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there. 

     THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
    Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, Ruled by Nuts

IRAQ

VERY INTERESTING-

1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern
Iraq !
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which
is in Iraq
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel
10. Amos cried out in Iraq
11 Babylon , which is in Iraq , destroyed Jerusalem
12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq !
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq (Jesus had been in Iraq
also as the fourth person in the Fiery Furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon
saw the 'writing on the wall' in Iraq
15. Nebuchadnezar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq ..
17. The wise men were from Iraq
18.. Peter preached in Iraq
19. The 'Empire of Man' described in Revelation is called Babylon , which was a city in Iraq !
And you have probably seen this one: Israel is the nation most
often mentioned in the Bible.
But
do you know which nation is second?
It is Iraq !
However, that is not the name that is used in
the Bible
The names used in the Bible are Babylon , Land
of Shinar , and Mesopotamia . The word Mesopotamia means
between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris
And Euphrates
Rivers .
The name Iraq , means country with
deep roots.
Indeed Iraq
is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the
Bible.
No other nation, except Israel
, has more history and prophecy associated
With it than Iraq
And also, This is something to think about: Since
America
is typically represented by an eagle.
Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages
..
The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible) Koran ( 9:11
) - For it is written that a son of Arabia
would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt
throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people
trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle
cleansed the lands of Allah;
And
there was peace.
(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?!

A Woman

        A woman was standing nude,
        looking in the bedroom mirror.
        She was not happy with
        what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
        horrible; I look old, fat
        and ugly.
        I really need you to pay
        me a compliment.'
        The husband replies, 'Your
        eyesight's damn near perfect.'
        And then the fight
        started......

Why,Why,Why

    Why, Why, Why,

       Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
    Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
    Why does someone
    believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
      Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? 
    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 
    Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? 
    If people evolved from apes,
    why are there still apes? 
    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 
    Is there ever a day that mattresses
    are not on sale? 
    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 
    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? 
    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? 
    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? 
    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? 
    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
         And my FAVORITE......
    The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

YES I'M A BAD AMERICAN

     YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
I ride Harleys Davidson Motorcycles and believe in American products.
                   I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and
Willie G Davidson that makes the Awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
             I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA ..
We like it the way it is!
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license.
I think it's good..... And I'm proud that 'God' is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I believe the president of the United States should put his hand over his heart and say the pledge of allegiance and should have no reservations about wearing American flag pins on his lapel.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause. Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes  parents.
I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA !
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

THEN THE FIGHT STARTED

When I got home last
        night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
        expensive... so, I took
        her to a gas station.
        And then the fight
        started...

        My wife was hinting about
        what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
        She said, 'I want
        something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
        I bought her a scale.
        And then the fight
        started...

        My wife sat down on the
        couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
        She asked, 'What's on TV?'
        I said, 'Dust.'
        And then the fight
        started...

AFTER RETIRING

After retiring, I went to
        the Social Security office to apply for Social
        Security..
        The woman behind the
        counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
        I looked in my pockets and
        realized I had left my wallet at home.
        I told the woman that I
        was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
        The woman said, 'Unbutton
        your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
        She said, 'That silver
        hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
        Security application.
        When I got home, I
        excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
        She said, 'You should have
        dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
        And then the fight
        started...

I Asked My Wife

  I asked my wife, where do you want to go for our anniversary? It warmed my heart to see
        her face melt in sweet appreciation."Somewh

ere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
        So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started....

Who Wants to BE A Millionaire

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we        were in bed.        I turned to her and said       "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.        I then said, "Is that        your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply        saying "Yes."
        So I said, "Then I'd        like to phone a friend."        And that's when the fight
        started....

RALPH

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He
soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
Ralph, wake up. You shit the bed!'

MARRIED FOR 50 YEARS

A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said.  'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered.  'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.   'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal

AGING

One of the many things
No one tells you about aging
Is that it is such a nice change
From being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful,
But being old is comfortable.

First you forget names,
Then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
You forget to pull it down.

NO REFILLS

A distraught senior citizen
Phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
You prescribed has to be taken
For the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence
Before the senior lady replied,
I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my condition
Because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'