People You Want

God doesn't always give you the people you want,but He always gives you the people you NEED....To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. 

Old People

'Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it.The older we get,The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for.Some people Try to turn back their odometers.Not me!I want people to know 'why'I look this way.I've traveled a long way And some of the roads weren't paved.When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to youth,Think of Algebra.You know you are getting old when Everything either dries up or leaks.One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young.Ah, being young is beautiful,But being old is comfortable.First you forget names,Then you forget faces.Then you forget to pull up your zipper.It's worse when You forget to pull it down.Long ago----When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks,It was called witchcraft...Today, it's called golf.

Police Quotes

 These are actual police officer quotes collected from numerous people stopped for moving traffic violations.___ If you run,you'll only go to jail tired.___The handcuffs are tight because they're new.They'll stretch out  after you wear them awhile.___So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,huh?___The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?___ No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.___ Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.___ Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid. In God we trust, all others are suspects.