Reflections

 Reflections ____ I chanced to pass a window While walking through a mall With nothing much upon my mind,Quite blank as I recall.I noticed in that window

A cranky-faced old man,And why he looked so cranky I didn't understand.Just why he looked at ME that way Was more than I could see Until I came to realize

That cranky man was ME!

Exspess Lane

was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?  

Thanks Dad

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card

Solution To Obamacare

The Perfect Solution to Obama Care___ While discussing the upcoming Health Care Program with my sister-in-law the other day, I think we have found

 the solution. I am sure you have heard the ideas that if you're a senior you need to suck it up and give up the idea that you need any health care.A new hip? Unheard of. We simply cant afford to take care of you anymore. You don't need any medications for your high blood pressure, diabetes,heart problems, etc. Lets take care of the young people. After all, they will be ruling the world very soon. So here is the solution. When you turn 70, you get a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of course, you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head and all the health care you need!!! New teeth, great!!! Need glasses, no problem. New hip, knee, kidney, lung,heart? Well bring it on. And who will be paying for all of this. The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. And, since you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income tax. I really think we have a Perfect Solution!!! 

Man-Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!  Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.  Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.  Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.  Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving,  but open to meeting new people.  After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.   THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN    Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, Ruled by Nuts.

Creation Of Ohio

 Creation of Ohio......                                                                                        
 Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.  Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.""Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.  God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot.  Over here I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice. The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, " What's that one?""Ah," said God.  "That's Ohio , the most glorious place on earth.  There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The people from Ohio are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world.  They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God?" "You said there would be balance!"  God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting around them in Michigan, Indiana, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Kentucky! Only someone who has grown up in Ohio would forward this e-mail!! GO BUCKEYES