RALPH

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph..'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster.
'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before? '
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He
soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....
Ralph, wake up. You shit the bed!'