Somebody Has there Eye on you!!!

A man is dining______ in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. Oh my, I am so sorry, the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time. The   next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! ! Everything had been SO incredible! ! You know, he said,you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? No, she replied,You just happened to catch my eye.

3 Historical Events

Three significant historical events have been eclipsed by Obama: 1) Jimmy Carter will no longer be looked upon as the worst president in American history; 2) Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton will no longer be recognized as the greatest liars in presidential history; 3) Clinton's stain on Monica's dress, and what that did to White House in general and the office of the president specifically, will forever pale in comparison to the stain and stench of Obama.
I need not spend much time on the failure of Obama as president. His tenure has been a failure on every measurable level. So much so, in fact, that some of the staunchest, most respected liberal Democrats and Democratic supporters have not only openly criticized him - some even more harshly than this essayist - but they have called for him to step down.
Richard Nixon's words "I am not a crook," punctuated with his involvement in Watergate, and Bill Clinton's finger-wagging as he told one of the most pathetic lies in presidential history, in the aftermath of Obama, will be viewed as mere prevarications. r. Nixon and Clinton lied to save their backsides. Although, I would argue there are no plausible explanations for doing what they did, I could entertain arguments pursuant to understanding their rationales for lying. But in the case of Obama, he lies because he is a liar. He doesn't only lie to cover his misdeeds - he lies to get his way. He lies to belittle others and to make himself look presentable at their expense. He lies about his faith, his associations, his mother, his father and his wife. He lies and bullies to keep his background secret. His lying is congenital and compounded by socio-psychological factors of his life.
Never in my life, inside or outside of politics, have I witnessed such dishonesty in a political leader. He is the most mendacious political figure I have ever witnessed. Even by the low standards of his presidential predecessors, his narcissistic, contumacious arrogance is unequalled. Using Obama as the bar, Nero would have to be elevated to sainthood.
As the stock markets were crashing, taking with them the remaining life saving of untold tens of thousands, Obama was hosting his own birthday celebration, which was an event of epicurean splendidness. The shamelessness of the event was that it was not a state dinner to welcome foreign dignitaries, nor was it to honor an American accomplishment - it was to honor the Pharaoh, Barack Hussein Obama. The event's sole purpose was for the Pharaoh to have his loyal subjects swill wine, indulge in gluttony and behavior unfit to take place on the property of taxpayers, as they suffer. It was of a magnitude comparable to that of Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski's $2 million birthday extravaganza for its pure lack of respect for the people.
Permit me to digress momentarily. The U.S. Capitol and the White House were built with the intent of bringing awe and respect to America and her people. They were also built with the intent of being the greatest of equalizers. I can tell you, having personally been to both, there is a moment of awe and humility associated with being in the presence of the history of those buildings. They are to be honored and inscribed into our national psyche, not treated as a Saturday night house party at Chicago 's Cabrini-Green.
The people of America own that home Obama and his wife continue to debase with their pan-ghetto behavior. It is clear that Obama and family view themselves as royalty, but they're not. They are employees of "we the people," who are suffering because of his failed policies. What message does this behavior send to those who today are suffering as never before?
What message does it send to all Americans who are struggling? Has anyone stopped to think what the stock market downturn forebodes for those 80 million baby boomers who will be retiring in the next period of years? Is there a snowball's chance in the Sahara that every news program on the air would applaud this behavior if it were George W. Bush? To that point, do you remember the media thrashing Bush took for having a barbecue at the White House?
Like Nero - who was only slightly less debaucherous than Caligula - with wine on his lips Obama treated "we the people" the way Caligula treated those over whom he lorded.
Many in America wanted to be proud when the first person of color was elected president, but instead, they have been witness to a congenital liar, a woman who has been ashamed of America her entire life, failed policies, intimidation and a commonality hitherto not witnessed in political leaders. He and his wife view their life at our expense as an entitlement - while America 's people go homeless, hungry and unemployed.

The Madam

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a
rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early  fifties..
May I help you sir?' she asked. 'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.
      'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone
      else', said the madam.
'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged
      $5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it
      to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly  left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained
      that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive.
But there were no discounts. The price was still $5000.  Again, the man pulled out
the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a
      third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie said to the man, 'No
      one has ever been with me three nights in a row.
Where are you from?'  The man replied, ' Ontario .'
'Really', she said. 'I have family in Ontario .'
      'I know.' the man said.  'Your sister died, and I am her attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'
The moral of the story is that there are three things in life are certain:-
Death, Taxes, and being screwed by a lawyer.

Tha The Fight Started

 When I got home last
        night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
        expensive... so, I took
        her to a gas station.
        And then the fight
        started...

        My wife was hinting about
        what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
        She said, 'I want
        something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
        I bought her a scale.
        And then the fight
        started...

        My wife sat down on the
        couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
        She asked, 'What's on TV?'
        I said, 'Dust.'
        And then the fight
        started...        .

I Took My Wife

 I took my wife to a
        restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
        "I'll have the strip
        steak, medium rare, please."
        He said, "Aren't you
        worried about the mad cow?""
        Nah, she can order for
        herself."
        And then the fight
        started...

A Case Of Miller

 I tried to talk my wife
        into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
        Instead, she bought a jar
        of cold cream for $7.95.
        I told her the beer would
        make her look better at night than the cold cream.
        And then the fight
        started....

Kentucky